June 2010
:)
It’s okay.
Smile.
Because, sometimes, the memories are worth all the pain.
I saw him today to get back my sunglasses and PS2 game.
Nostalgia. I want him back.
BAHAHAHASDKLJASDKHADKASDLASKSL Silly Ashley.
dot dot dot...
M - Coaching. Toy Story 3. Gringos. Clean pool.
Tu - Coaching. Kadie’s birthday. Swim instructing.
W - Manager’s meeting. Catch up on much needed sleep. Lifeguarding.
Th - Coaching. Lifeguarding.
F - Coaching. Lifeguarding.
Sa - Swim meet. SLEEP.
Su - Lifeguarding all day.
………………….I’m so tired of being near pools.
I just need to slow down for a while. I'm missing...
A mention, a whisper, a hurt .
J is right. I’m not going to get over him that fast …
I wish it was easier though. I guess in my heart I was hoping he’d say yes instead of no. But of course in the logic of things, he made the right choice :) I’ll just be a girl about it for a little bit and it’ll be over.
It’ll be okay.
Haha…but..
I don’t want to ever say never again unless...
I'm in a mess of emotions.
:) :( :O :3 >:) >:( D: :D ^^ n.n v.v u.u >.> <.< >.< <.>
oblaarggag2: you mean the children that are probably going to be blocking my way into toy story 3?
oblaarggag2: they can die
It still wasn't that easy.
Well.
It’s over.
I can’t believe it.
But it’s fucking over.
………………………………
It’ll be all gravy soon.
I can handle it.
I wish it was
all just a
dream.
All the fears you feel inside, and all the tears you’ve cried.
They all end, right h e r e .
:)
Got my can of Sunkist in one hand.
And a completed schedule in the other.
FINALLY DONE SCHEDULING PEOPLE IN. ASDHASHDAKLSJDH
WOOOOOOOO000OOO0.
I thought being a manager would be easy.
Oh. How. I. Was. So. Wrong.
But I enjoy it. It gives me things to do and keeps my mind off of things. Gets me to sleep super fast even though I do have those random moments where I just can’t sleep.
I worry.
Ohh fuck.
I thought it’d be proper to tumblr’d this.
I’m so lightweight. Like legit. Hahhh. I think I started crying randomly too. Hahahaha. A few cups of v—— and two bottles of S———- but I feel fine today.
After I threw it all up later that night.
::Shudders::
Now I have to go to swim practice. Lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I...
FuckedupShitfaced.
Tomorrow after I see him.
GG.
No condolences .
I’m going to find a way to make it, without you.
Have you tried sleeping with a broken heart ? Well you can try sleeping in my bed.
…You know I’ll always be in love with you.
I am so sorry for being like this… Being human sucks.
♪♥♫
I promised myself not to cry for you again until you do leave. I’m intent on keeping that promise.
Reality kinda sucks.
Especially when he’s going 45564054651 miles away from me.
Hah.
9:40 PM Yesterday.
EJ calls. Confused, I stare at the name. “Is this fareal ?“
He called to ask to hang out with me.
I couldn’t.
I had to study for SATs the next day.
WORST COCK-BLOCK IN THE WORLD.
It's working.
The ability to feign a smile through all the shit.
I’m actually feeling happier, and laughing more.
I’m feeling good.
It’s all going to crash down soon, I know, but I can still pretend while I can.
The 2011 glasses are going to be so awkward, where...
:O
OhJeez.
23. Brings me breakfast. Single. Let’s me drive his car. Texts me. Hot. Is sarcastic. Makes me laugh. Great bod. Has plans for his future. Did I mention hot ? Crush crush crush.
18. Sexy. Sarcastic. Makes me lol. Sweet at times. Makes smile like crazy. Great kisses. I love him.
Wo hai shi ai ni.
Hah.
